I May Be Lupie

So here's my health update. I'll start with the good news. I have early stage 3 chronic kidney disease. Apparently there was no change with the flush. My kidneys are functioning at around 60%. The really good news is that I no longer have rheumatoid arthritis. My last PCP said I may have had Juvenile RA that wasn't caught until my mid-twenties. Anyhow, it's great! Instead my labs show that I have a severe ANA level which could mean Lupus. If this is the case, he needs to do a kidney biopsy soon so that they can find out if the suspected Lupus is causing harm to my kidneys. So on January 20th I get to spend a day (and night) in the hospital to have the biopsy. That means I don't have to cook Monday and probably Tuesday! Woo to da hoo on that. After the biopsy is done, I'll follow up with him on February 10th to find out the treatment plan and to determine if I need to see a Rheumatologist for the maybe Lupus crud. I know I bash living in Owensboro quite often. I mean no harm. My something nice to say is that I am extremely happy with my doctors. First and most importantly, they believe me. This can be difficult when dealing with chronic illnesses. Also they have been aggressively proactive in checking everything to see what is going on with my body. I haven't had this in years. I strongly dislike all the changes my body has been going through, however knowing it's not all in my head, a symptom of my craziness, or another one of my alleged hypochondriac schemes, has given me great comfort. I know I have doctors interested in my health, and that they're willing to "dig" for answers.

Now I'm facing the dilemma of whether I need to switch and take online classes this coming semester, so I'm not missing classes. Also I didn't heavily consider any other schools for my BSW, but Brescia's BSW program is completely online. That would free up my schedule not only for health stuff, but more so for Zaynub. I'm in denial over the fact that she will start kindergarten this fall. My intended plans are to be as active as possible with school functions, so an online program may work out. Also most of WKU-O's classes are late afternoon/evening, and I didn't do well with the late class last summer. Actually I swore it off after my final. So that's my current issue as classes start this Monday. If I keep my schedule as is, I'll miss class at least once for the biopsy and however many days for toe surgery. Well I have a lot to think about over the weekend. It kinda bites, but I'm not sulking or complaining. Oh, as far as the biopsy I'll be back to my normal routine right away. My only restriction is no heavy lifting. This would not be a problem any other time after The Fresh Beat Band concert that following Friday. I'm hoping that with the seats being so close Z won't want me to pick her up and she asks me to stay in my seat like she did last time. She gets real serious at concerts and told me not to sing her favorite songs. I'm. SO. Proud! Now I need to do some stuff before we go to Louisville this weekend. I wanted to keep you all updated. Have a fantastic week/weekend. I'll be in touch. 

Oh Toe She Didn't

There's not much to update (lucky for you). I met and saw my new primary care physician. He seems to be just as proactive as the last. I had an EEG which was normal. My pulse was 113 and he is concerned about my heart racing and my shaking. I'd say Zaynub's diagnosis with ODD (will blog later) is part of the reason, but my anxiety has been off the scale for a few months (if not longer). I had more x-rays done on my toe and have to fast again for labs tomorrow. I'm having another bone density scan within the next week. I see him again in two weeks to go over results. At that time he will give me a referral to an orthopedic surgeon. I'm not overly thrilled to have surgery on my toe, however I feel like I'm a step closer (pun intended) to being able to walk relatively pain free. Tomorrow I get to see the nephrologist and hear the results from the round of tests he ordered. I'm still hopeful that the torturous kidney flush actually helped, and I'm too exhausted to be nervous at this point.

After five rewrites I finally put my penpal ad and quirks in the mail. I may try a few other penpal clubs before the end of the month and/or the thirty letters in a month challenge. I did find my penpal from 1995 when we worked at Discover Card but LinkedIn didn't allow messaging so I could reintroduce myself. I hope that she recognizes me just enough to start penpalling again. If so, I will sing praises to social networking for making a WebTV era reconnection.

Well it's bath and bed time for our filter free family. I'll be in touch. Talk soon. 

Trying to Let IT Go

So I wish I could say not much has happened by it has. Wouldn't be life if it didn't. I recently had a horrible experience buying a car and though I've since sold the piece of junk and bought another car, I'm having a problem letting "it" go. By "it," I mean the experience, process, downward spiral that prompted me to buy the car. So here's my attempt to get rid of it, tell what happened from my point of view and finally let it go.

Before we left Louisville, I had a nice, sporty, little car that we were growing out of. It didn't have a/c and I was in the process of getting that done but then we moved to Owensboro. So after going through a summer of no air in the car, I decided I would get it done by the next summer (2012). Because we had just moved, I didn't have a mechanic and barely knew many people in town. Through one of the church groups I attend, I found a mechanic or so I was told. I'm going to fast forward a bit, the end result was no air was ever put in that car and I was told I needed to hurry and sell it before the pending repairs were needed. It took me almost two months to sell this car. That far exceeded my less than a week norm. Anyways it sold and for way more than I intended to sell it for. That and my school money came around the same time. I was a happy carless (for a few hours) camper.

Fast forward a bit more...the mechanic and his wife had suggested I buy his old work car that had new tires to hold me over for the winter and until I could save some more money. Buying a car from a mechanic seemed reasonable to me. I just needed a safe vehicle to get us to school, the gym, church and back home again. I also had a tendency to want to believe there's good in most people and knowing that I'm a solo parent of a preschooler and a full-time student, surely they knew and trusted the condition of this car they were selling to me. Granted I wasn't a hard sell and didn't have many options but still it was their car so they knew, right? 

Well the first bad sign was the car didn't want to start when I was going to put it in the garage minutes after I handed them the money. That should have been my point of no return but I drew a line at my daughter's safety and I didn't think it was crossed...yet. Second bad sign was when I took it to a tire shop to have the "new" tires balanced and they wouldn't touch the car due to dry rot and cuts in the tires. I was advised, from someone I trust wholeheartedly, that this was a bum deal and I needed to get rid of the car. I was told, by the mechanic, that the shop was just trying to get me to buy tires. Most people would think that my line had been crossed upon finding this out, I didn't feel it...just yet. A week later it rained, the tires skid going uphill and my anxiety started to elevate. Once again I'm told, by you know who, that I was used to driving my other car and not familiar with how to drive this type of car. At this point they're standing on the line. Oh another issue I had was that the dashboard lit up like a Christmas display. Nice for the holidays but not so much for my car. Also there was a stench about the car, possibly backed up fumes, which prompted my 3-year old with speech delay to give it a nickname of "stinky car." I was told this time that he didn't recall those things happening when he drove the car. I was told when I bought it, that it lags about 20-30 seconds when going in reverse. I know, I know...it will be addressed in a bit. I think I made it another week before the next issue surfaced which was it wouldn't start again for about 15 minutes when leaving a store and then again as I coasted into the gas station. When he got a chance to check it out, I was informed, in person, that the fuel injector had blown and  he had only seen that happen when water got into the tank. He went on to tell me that he  filled the car up before he gave it to me so it must have been one of the times I filled it up. Huh? So let's recap, shall we:

• I'm target for an upsell
• I don't know how to drive certain cars
• I notice things that may or may not have happened
• I don't know how to put gas in a car

LINE CROSSED!!! I know what you're thinking, it was crossed long before but I wanted to see if this Christian mechanic was going to try and make good on selling his car to a solo parent and student. I had already taken every last dime I had to purchase another car and find an actual mechanic that works in an auto shop. He doesn't throw his religion in your face and does the job honestly and correctly. So there I was broke with two cars and only driving one. 

I sold the piece of junk car because I was told it's a good car and the issues had been corrected. The young lady I sold it to didn't even make it home without breaking down on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. When I got the call, my heart sank. How did this happen? That would have been me. I paid to have it towed to her mechanic in her town. I had to do right by her even though I had been wronged. We were told that the fuel pump went out and the transmission was on its way out. Long story, short...though I've sold the car, my good and heavy conscience accepted whatever offer she would make if she wanted to keep the car. 

So it's a done deal. The car is no longer mine. I left the group that I met the mechanic's wife from for "personal" reasons. I have no reason to ever interact with these people that put my daughter's life in danger by pawning off a heap of junk car on me. The way I see it is that they knew my situation and still got over on me. Now it's not my style to put them on blast but you better believe I don't refer anyone to him. I really hope for their sake, they stop messing people over and handle business right. I opted not to take this situation to the next level because I'm not looking to retaliate. So breathe easy if you're reading this. I'm not taking you to court. There's a higher judge you'll answer to one day. 

So why am I blogging about it? I'm having the worst time just letting it go. I've spent a number of sleepless nights just staring , praying for and crying over my daughter. I want what's best for her always. I want to protect her always. I need to know that my actions are the right ones. And this time, I put my trust in someone who knowingly did something so potentially dangerous to us. I can't seem to forgive myself though the car we have now is a much better fit. After talking to that very special person, I decided I would blog about it and let it go for good. It's gone! Lesson has been learned. Anxiety is back down to  its normally high level. Now I'm going to finish homework while  we watch our favorite movie...Cars!