A few months ago, I watched a Lifeclass that stayed with me until well, today (or tonight or this morning). People were directed to make an effort and change or remove the negative mind sets. I'm a sucker for any therapy-ish moment. So we repeated the "I Am" statements, yelling at the top of our lungs with passion, conviction, and strength. I'm going to drive this home fairly quickly. It's the middle of the night and my pain is too loud for this time of the day or any other. I was looking through my bins of "stuff" (wouldn't dare call it crap because it's in plastic bins, thank you) to find stationery paper to write my penpals. Normally I go to the paper bin where I have note cards, envelopes, pens, etc. This time around, nothing tickled my fancy so I found yet another paper (craft) bin and feverishly went through it only to find I had no more stationery that I liked and this little book I made years ago in an art therapy group. In this double-sided book, we were instructed to clip pictures and write a story about where and whom we would like to be down the road. I, being the good student, clearly understood but chose not to follow instructions. Instead on one side, I looked for phrases and words that describe the real me that I had lost. On the other side, I only wrote "I Am" statements. It's been roughly seven years since I've made this, and I can't tell you how refreshing it is to be able to read this over and over again now. So I thought it was fitting that my last blog of the year reflect what I thought of myself. Keep in mind these were written years ago, but I think they can still apply to me today and later into my tomorrows.
- I AM worthy of being respected
- I AM moving in the right direction
- I AM living my life for ME
- I AM not stuck for I've been placed
- I AM stronger with each new day
- I AM using my voice
- I AM learning new things
- I AM a student of life
- I AM learning to feel better about myself
- I AM on the road to recovery
- I AM my #1 fan
- I AM doing what only I can do
This will be in plain sight from here on just in case I need a refresher. I have so many inspirational pieces I made in that group, and I refuse to throw then away. If all goes as planned I'll graduate and get my Associate in Arts in the summer (2014), and will begin working on my Bachelor of Social Work in the fall when my beautiful girl starts kindergarten. It's hard to believe she's already starting school. It's even harder to believe she's mine. Not going to gush...online. Anyway, if anyone reading this decides to make their own "I Am" statements; I would love it if you don't mine to share. You can post them in the comments or better yet in your blog (then post a link in my comments). There are no rules. You can "I Am" until you start to believe you are. I did.
Self-expression will kill my depression. Happy 2014! Talk soon y'all.
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