Love

Did you really think I was better off when you ripped my heart out? I'm happy to explain to you how I feel. After all these years, 4,445 days & countless lonely nights...I still love. Why?

I couldn't kill you with my kindness. It didn't matter that I changed for you. How did you know each time I said "I hate" it really meant "I love"? Through all those tears of joy & pain...I still love. Why?

I often question my purpose in life. I feel I was born to be hurt and rejected. My health is bad. My heart does bleed. My thoughts are clouded. I talk until I'm blue. I shake with fear. My body is numb...I still love. Why?

I want to go back to being me. I want to laugh out loud and scream even louder. I need to be able to feel everything. Sex is not love yet making love is having sex. Will I ever get it? Even when I live for myself, the sun will still shine. If I don't get flowers; I'll buy my own. When my date stands me up; I'll take myself out. I won't ever wait to be loved. Why? I will always love...me!

So now I understand all my failed attempts with love. It's not me...it's you.