Home For The Holidays

We've all heard the saying "going home for the holidays" right? Think about this, is there really a place that each & every one of us can call "home"?

A little HERstory of me:

Over 10 years ago when my then boyfriend and I were broke and homeless yet in love as never before during the holidays. That June I moved out to be with him. I was the quiet, shy and independent black sheep of the family. I no longer had a home. Summer came and went.

In the fall, I registered for classes while my mother insisted that I major in accounting Well that didn't happen and probably never would've boyfriend or not. So I come up with this creative (at the time I thought it was) plan to take my extra money from the loan and get us a place to stay. Didn't really dawn on us at the time that rent would have to be paid on a monthly basis. Some of you may know the feeling, when you're so in love you get real good and stupid. Yeah well long story short (not really it's me writing), we got our very first eviction. Welcome to the real world! We no longer had a home.

Most of his family were in Phoenix. One of my uncle's allowed us to move our things into his garage until we were able to get back on our feet. Now I know what you're thinking, why didn't we stay with him? At the time he had a full house. There wasn't even room on the floor for us to stay. Still no home for us.

Well Happy Freaking Turkey Day! We had no where to stay hardly any money left and it was starting to get cold outside. So I get one of those really not-so-good ideas again, we can stay at the Motel 6. My pride alone was not taking us to a homeless shelter. We got a room however is still wasn't home.

I swear I can remember this like it was yesterday. Okay I'm really going to get to my point eventually and stop talking. Well it's Thanksgiving so we needed to get some turkey and fixings right? So we only walked what seemed like 10 miles to get to the nearest grocery store. We had enough money to get a loaf of bread, sliced turkey from the deli and maybe a really generic 2-liter of something. We walked back to our luxurious room and had our first Thanksgiving as a family. At the time Michael Jordan was on Oprah so we both were bundled in blankets, fully clothed and watching one of the greatest athletes of all time. It wasn't all that exciting and we still didn't have a home.

Somehow I got in touch with a friend of mine from high school. I had never met her parents however that didn't stop her mom from helping us find a studio apartment and fully furnishing it. We were told not to say anything to anyone, not even my friend knew at the time. I didn't know the true meaning of generosity until we met this angel on earth. Finally we had a home! Or did we?

I learned a valuable lesson that home is not a physical building, street corner, motel room or shelter. Home is a feeling that you have deep down inside. Sometimes you have to go way out of your comfort zone to find a piece of home. It's there. We all have it. So whether you are with family, friends or alone this holiday season, find your "home". Remember to hold on to it and find comfort knowing it's always there and always will. I challenge those of you that made it this far to help someone else discover where their "home" is for the holidays if you already found your own. Happiest Holidays to you all!

No need to tell me...I already know

They can't and won't ever make you feel the way I did and still do. They don't know what really feels good to you. It's all for them because their hearts are not true.

They won't give you the memories I gave you. The ones that last a lifetime. Memories like that never fade away. Memories are kept locked in your mind to help you when you've lost your way.

They won't know what to do when you're down. I had a way of feeling you up with cheer. I made you see the light was within your reach. It was because of me that you learned while I tried to teach.

They can't inspire you the way I did. Your dreams would not have come true without the strong support. Telling you you're wonderful is different than knowing you're the greatest at being you. I helped you find more things you could do.

You are the reason behind who you are today. They settle for anything. I make you strive for more. The more you go, the further you'll get. When the dark clouds are hovered, I kept your candle lit.

You don't even have to love them. They can only love your surface in order to love them self. I dug a lot deeper because the love you have inside is what makes the layers of protection. Love may be blind but it always points you in the right direction.

They don't look for the big picture. They are fine with the here and now. Your future will never grow because the seeds weren't planted. They take everything you have to offer for granted.

They thought they had changed you. You are better with them than you were with me. Changes don't occur overnight. I'll stick around while the changes in you and me are in process. They'll run when the changes start to take place. They don't live for the journey, they think it's a race.

Life is what you make. The roads you travel. The obstacles you build and conquer. The feelings you want to feel. The memories you create. The goals you strive to achieve. The seeds you plant. The love you give. The changes you allow to happen. They only want what they can get from you. I want what I have made and can create with you.

I know it's not all up to me. I know you want all the things I have to offer. I know with time, better changes will occur. I know you will always love me forever. A love like mine lasts even when we're not together.

I'm still learning from what I already know. I hope that you will have learned before it's my time to go.