Before you read this, please understand this is mine and I
have declined saying it until after I mulled it over. If this upsets or angers
you, I’m not ready to offer apologies nor do I care to entertain opinions on
how I should be handling this. Also I realize this is not the worst thing that
could ever happen and other people have it much worse, but this is mine to feel.
With that said, enjoy!
So this is
my chronicle of events, journal entries, or whatever you want to call it. I’m
not implying that all of the following entries are related to each other. I just
edited what I wish to include.
February 2013: A month into my second
semester of college and I’m starting to get concerned about this mysterious
weight gain. Because of it my doctor made some adjustments to my drug cocktail
in hopes that the weight gain would stop.
April 2013: I can’t fit any of my
clothes. I’ve stretched my jeans out of shape because they are the only piece
of clothing besides my yoga pants that I could make fit. The concern is still
building because I’m back to my regular workout routine and yet I’m still
gaining weight.
July 9, 2013: Got tested for a possible
kidney infection after having flank pains for a few days. Not as bad as the
last kidney infection, but occasionally I get checked within a reasonable amount
of time. My self-diagnosis is that my natural ability to worry was staying with
me for a bit. Test results came back negative though the pain hasn’t stopped.
End of July: I’m furious over this
weight gain! I have bought clothes a few times this year and haven’t been able
to fit into any of them. So I make an emergency call to beg for a change with
my meds. Doctor took me off the one that has a possible side effect of weight
gain. This will do it. In a few months I’ll be back to a more comfortable size.
August 13, 2013: Getting into the
shower, I hit my foot on the tub. I knew something was broken. So much pain (it
ranks in with the 24+ hours of no medicine while being in labor for a week)!
Self-diagnosis this time was that I broke the toe that won’t bend and is the
size of a bundle of Vienna sausages. My WebMD PhD says to wrap it with the toe
next to it for about 4 weeks.
September 19, 2013: My 4 weeks are up
and the only change is that it went down to maybe the size of 2 sausages. My
first appointment with my PCP sort of went like this:
Dr: What did you
do to your toe?
Me: Hit it on
the tub a month ago.
Dr: And you
think it’s broken because of that?
Me: I do but if
you would prefer we could say it’s possibly broken.
Dr: Let me look
at it. (Took my sock off) This is not good. (While examining my foot) This is not good at all. I need to know how
this happened so I can figure out a treatment plan.
Me: Hit it on a
tub.
Dr: This may
require surgery but first I need to know how you really did this.
Me: One morning as I was getting
in the shower, my foot hit the tub. I know this is our first appointment, but
soon you’ll know how clumsy and random things are for me.
Had x-rays
done on my foot and neck? I’m in more pain right now than I than I need to be,
but life goes on. I kept going to zumba and got a mile/calorie counter to make
sure I’m getting lots of exercise because it slowed down some but my weight
keeps going.
October 10, 2013: Happy birthday to me!
To make it even happier, this is my last year being 30-something. Woot, woot! I can’t wait to visit Houston, but not sure
how I feel about the 14 hour drive to get there.
October 11, 2013: A nurse from my
doctor’s office calls to tell me that the x-rays came back and my toe is still
broken. Also my labs came back showing that my kidney disease needs to be
monitored and the doctor wants a renal ultrasound done right away. Hmmm, I wasn’t
aware I had kidney disease and I’m getting ready to leave for my birthday trip,
so straightening out this mix up will have to wait.
October 24, 2013: Have the renal
ultrasound bright and early. I missed my first class of the semester. Since my
instructor gives one freebie (anything after that is a 5 point deduction), it's
no big deal. This will not be an issue because there’s nothing going on.
October 30-31, 2013: The nurse calls to
say my results came back as “just ok” and the doctor wanted her to call and
make sure I will make next week’s appointment. Also I’ve sent your referral to
the nephrology practice. By the way, were you told that your doctor is leaving
the practice yet? His last day is Thursday and he wants to make sure you have a
good medical team setup before he leaves. This is when the denial moved in. I was
so distracted I completely missed an assignment almost a week after the fact.
November 5, 2013: A friend met me at
the doctor’s office. In a nutshell, I have scar tissue, my kidneys aren’t
filtering as they should, and a certain level in my blood usually indicates
kidney disease. The puzzling part is that you’re fairly healthy, don’t have
diabetes or high blood pressure (outside of doctor visits), and your other
levels were pretty high (a good thing). So I asked questions and he told me
that when I saw him for the first time and my toe was still broken after a
month he did some digging. That’s why I had labs with the x-rays. He messes
with my toe (during which I kind want to kick him in the face) and says it’s
finally starting to heal but it’s still crunchy. I liked my doctor a lot until
he told me no zumba, walk as less as possible, and wear a post-op boot for 4
weeks. My only thought…no zumba?
November 19, 2013: Met with the
nephrologist today. I was told that a diagnosis would not be made today.
Instead I’ll give you 3 weeks to “flush your kidneys,” take more tests, and
maybe your labs will show there’s no kidney disease or that it was temporary
issue. He was extremely thoughtful, but it didn’t sound as convincing as I
would have preferred. Then he says that in the meanwhile I can start reading
about stage 3 chronic kidney disease. Huh, say again please? Before you ask, my
doctor only suspects how this happened, and I don’t to elaborate.
Thanksgiving Day: After missing another
2 classes and dropping a class (2 weeks before finals), I’m beginning to worry
because my grade dropped in 2 of my classes, I’m roughly 3 weeks behind in another, and I turned
in an unfinished assignment in the other. I posted a note stating that I’m
aware the assignment isn’t complete but something is better than nothing. To celebrate, I started my K-drain kidney cleansing.
I won’t even go further than that.
December 10, 2013: I did 2 extra credit
assignments last week to try and make up some points. It’s crunch time; I’ve
lost 15 points due to absences and only have 2 essays and 3 papers due by
midnight. At 11:57PM, I submitted my last assignment and from my teacher’s
response, she was a bit surprised.
December 11, 2013: Had an eye exam. It
didn’t go as well as I hoped. I have to switch to a new brand of contacts
because my lovely astigmatisms have worsened and I now have to wear dollar
store magnifying glasses with my contacts in order to read! My “I can’t wait to
turn 40” buzz simmered down a bit.
December 12, 2013: I have already
figured out my grade scenarios just enough to drive me bonkers. Managed to
somehow bring my grade up in 3 classes, but my research paper loomed over my
head. I had an “A” going in and then I fearfully turned that paper in. I was
certain that my known (after the fact) mistakes would cost me possibly 2 letter
grades. After dinner I checked my records so I could start preparing myself for
the beat down, but to my surprise I managed to pull all my grades up. This is
why I posted the cheesy picture of my grades. Not that a 4.0GPA isn’t great,
but this one gave me a big ol’ woot, woot feeling.
December 13, 2013: Woke up this morning
in the mood to share whatever is going on with my health. I mean its Friday the
13th and I’m still celebrating! As far as how I feel, both my feet
hurt still, occasionally I get a spasm of a flank pain, waiting for the effects
from the kidney cleanse to wear off, and I’m starting one of my classes for
next semester after I post this. Yes it seems like a bit much, however if I
figure out a way to take 6 classes next semester and 2 in the summer…mama’s
going to graduate! More importantly I’ll be eligible for a very nice transfer
scholarship when I start WKU-O fall 2014. For the record, I haven’t applied to
the BSW program yet, but it’s my first choice and I’m still the overly sometimes
unrealistically optimistic chic I’ve always been.
There you
have it. My next appointments are January 6th and 8th in
hopes of getting a diagnosis. I plan to blog it out as it happens so that I don’t
have to read so much of my chicken scratch at one time.
